(A follow-up to Scott Galloway, for moms of boys… and anyone who loves one.)

If you read our last Thrive Momma post on Scott Galloway, you already know the vibe: this isn’t a “boys are bad” conversation. It’s a “boys are struggling—and pretending they’re fine” conversation.

In a CBC The Current interview from April 2024, Galloway argues that loneliness is pushing young men toward extreme belief systems, and that feeling shut out of opportunity (while watching other people live “better lives” online) makes the pull even stronger. Muck Rack+1

That might sound dramatic… until you look around and realize: yep. A lot of boys are isolated. A lot of families are exhausted. And a lot of algorithms are very happy to raise our kids for us.

So today’s follow-up is about something we can control.

Not perfectly. Not Pinterest-perfectly. But practically.

Why Leonard Sax belongs in this conversation

Leonard Sax is a physician and psychologist who’s been waving a steady flag for years: kids do better when parents act like parents.

In the revised and updated edition (Oct 1, 2024) of The Collapse of Parenting, Sax argues that rising anxiety and depression are linked (in part) to parents abdicating authority, and kids looking to peers and social media for direction. He also emphasizes reasserting authority through things like screen limits, prioritizing family, and teaching humility and perspective. Hachette Book Group+1

And if you’re thinking, “Cool, but I’m already doing everything and now I have to be a leadership coach too?”—hi. Same. Welcome. Pull up a chair.

Sax isn’t saying “be harsh.”
He’s saying “be clear.”

And clarity is weirdly calming for kids—even when they hate it for the first three days.

The Sax trilogy that helps moms of boys (even when one book is about girls)

Here are the three Sax books I recommend as a set—because raising boys well is also about how they treat girls, how they handle emotions, and how they live in community.

1) Boys Adrift (Updated edition: June 28, 2016)

On the publisher page, Sax describes boys falling behind in resilience and ambition, with widened education gaps. He explicitly names real-life issues parents recognize—like boys glued to video games—and he offers practical strategies for home and school. Hachette Book Group

Why it helps moms of boys:
It’s a “pattern-spotting” book. It helps you shift from “What is wrong with my kid?” to “What is happening around my kid?”

2) The Collapse of Parenting (Revised & updated: Oct 1, 2024)

This is Sax’s “family culture” book: the argument that kids need parents to lead—not just manage schedules.

Publisher description highlights: when parents step back too far, kids look to peers/social media; Sax recommends screen limits and a stronger family framework, and this edition is revised/updated with new stories and recommendations. Hachette Book Group+1

Why it helps moms of boys:
Because boys don’t become grounded men by accident. They become grounded when someone lovingly insists on structure.

3) Girls on the Edge (Updated edition: Aug 25, 2020) — “Wait, why are we reading this for BOYS?”

Because this book helps us raise boys who are safe, kind, emotionally literate humans.

The updated edition description flags pressures like sexualized culture, social media and pornography, and other modern risks impacting girls. Leonard Sax

Why it helps moms of boys:
Because being a good man includes being good to women.
And because empathy grows when our boys understand what their sisters, friends, and future partners are navigating.

(Also: it will sharpen your “culture radar” as a parent, period.)

The “Parenting Reset”: 6 tiny, powerful moves (no perfection required)

This is the Thrive Momma translation of the Sax + Galloway overlap:

Loneliness is dangerous. Muck Rack+1
Parents matter. Hachette Book Group
Connection + boundaries + mentors = protective factors. (Not magic. Just protective.)

1) Build daily connection that’s too small to fail

Forget the 90-minute heart-to-heart. Most boys won’t sign up for that.

Try this instead:

• The Two-Minute Check-In: “High/low of the day?” (That’s it. Don’t fix it. Don’t teach. Just listen.)

• Side-by-side talks: car rides, dog walks, folding laundry, shooting hoops, doing dishes.

• Phone-free micro-moment: one meal or snack a day, no screens.

Loneliness thrives in silence. Connection thrives in consistent presence. Muck Rack+1

2) Put guardrails on the algorithm (especially for “manosphere” content)

If loneliness is pulling boys toward extreme belief systems, then your job isn’t “ban the internet forever.”

Your job is:

• reduce isolation

• teach discernment

• interrupt the algorithm’s momentum Muck Rack+1

Practical guardrails:

• Devices charge outside bedrooms.

• Set a device curfew (even if it’s imperfect).

• Co-view sometimes: “Show me what you’re watching lately.”

A simple script you can literally use:

“I’m not here to spy. I’m here to parent. If something online is trying to ‘train’ you to hate people, I need to know—because you deserve better mentors than an angry stranger with a microphone.”

3) Give boys real responsibility (the confidence kind, not the “child labour” kind)

A lot of boys are hungry for usefulness. When they feel needed, they feel anchored.

Pick one:

• a daily chore that actually matters (trash, dishes, dog, lunches)

• a weekly “family contribution” (help cook one meal, shovel, carry groceries, tidy a shared space)

Sax talks about practical strategies for re-engaging boys at home and school. Hachette Book Group

4) Get them around good men (and good humans) on purpose

Galloway emphasizes mentorship as a missing protective factor because boys need models of healthy masculinity and belonging. Muck Rack+1

If you’re a single mom, or there isn’t a safe adult man in the picture, this part can feel tender. You’re not failing. You’re navigating reality.

Options that can work (choose what fits your family):

• coaches, instructors, youth group leaders (with safe screening)

• a trusted uncle/grandparent/family friend

• school-based clubs with strong adult supervision

• volunteering where adults work alongside teens (community gardens, food banks, community cleanups)

The goal is not “a man present.” The goal is healthy mentorship present.

5) Restore “family leadership” (without turning into a drill sergeant)

Sax’s Collapse of Parenting argument is basically: kids do worse when parents stop leading. Hachette Book Group

So here’s the Thrive Momma version of parental authority:

• Fewer rules, clearer rules

• Predictable consequences

• Warmth + follow-through

Example:
Instead of “Stop being on your phone!”, try:

• “Phones downstairs at 9:30.”

• “If it’s upstairs after 9:30, it sleeps in the kitchen tomorrow night.”

Calm. Boring. Effective.

6) Teach “strength” as protection, not dominance

This is the heart of the “healthy masculinity” conversation: courage isn’t just self-defense. It’s also protecting others emotionally and psychologically. Muck Rack+1

What to model and teach boys:

• how to apologize (without collapsing into shame)

• how to handle rejection

• how to disagree without humiliating

• how to notice who’s being left out

• how to stand up without turning cruel

And yes, we also talk about respecting girls and women—not as a lecture, but as a character standard. Girls on the Edge can help parents understand the modern pressures girls face. Leonard Sax

Thrive Momma Community Questions for Discussion:

1. What’s one boundary that actually helped your boy—not just you?

2. Where does your son get real-world belonging (team, club, job, volunteering, neighbours)?

3. If you could “re-parent” one thing for your younger self, what would it be—and how does it shape how you parent your boy today?

Gentle note (because we’re grown-ups here)

This post is educational coaching content, not therapy or medical advice. If your child is dealing with depression, self-harm thoughts, addiction, or aggressive/extreme content that scares you—please loop in a qualified professional (family doctor, school team, licensed therapist). You don’t have to carry that alone.