I am fascinated by neuroscience that tells us more and more about how the brain learns and acts as the computer of our lives. As a teacher, I always wanted to figure out how to teach kids who needed different approaches than the rest. It was clear to me that “It’s not how smart I am; it’s how I am smart” was not just about building kids’ self-esteem—it was also a calling to my work as a teacher.

As a learner, my growing understanding that I was not “stupid,” but that my neurodiversity was presenting the same challenge many people experience, changed everything. The good news: as the world and its economy change, the skills of the neurodiverse brain—the ability to see differently, connect ideas, create, and communicate—are more and more in demand. Learning differences that once brought shame are being recognized as emerging superpowers. Carol Dweck’s “Growth Mindset,” which explains neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change with practice), is a great place to start.

In this blog, I want to explore the science of the brain in a way that actually helps you at home. Because when we understand how the brain learns—and how intergenerational trauma, stress, and the early years shape it—we get better at supporting kids (and ourselves) when behavior or learning challenges push us to the edge. Our brains are as different as our fingerprints, and it’s all good. If you want a simple, friendly intro to neuroplasticity and mindset, this short video does a lovely job of it: https://youtu.be/2Grski61aHc?si=Fd77YBBStK8tZX-i 

How Brains Learn (and Why That’s Hopeful)

Let’s demystify a big word: neuroplasticity.
Think of your brain like a forest. Every time you repeat a thought or a skill—tying shoes, sounding out words, asking for help—you’re walking the same path. The more you walk it, the clearer and faster that path gets. That’s all “plasticity” means: paths can be made, strengthened, and even rerouted.

Here’s the hope: if a path can be made, a new path can be made. It may be slower, or need different tools, but it’s possible.

A Quick Story From Our Community

A mom told me about her nine-year-old who “hates reading.” Homework was a tear-soaked battlefield. One night she tried something different. She said, “Let’s read the recipe for hot chocolate together. You read the ingredient list; I’ll read the steps. Then we make it.” No workbook. No timer. Just mugs and marshmallows.

Her child read the list. It was slow. There were stumbles. But after sipping cocoa, the child asked, “Can I read the jokes on the cocoa box?” (Ten out of ten for product packaging, right?) They did that all week—recipes, jokes, cereal boxes. Two weeks later, they added a silly ten-minute comic book session at bedtime. Was it magic? No. But the fight ended. The reading path got walked daily, with chocolate bribery and giggles. The forest changed.

Sticky truth: Practice changes brains; kindness keeps us practicing.

What Matters & Why (in Plain Language)

• Stress makes learning harder, calm makes learning easier.
  When we’re stressed, our survival systems get loud and our thinking systems get quiet. Calm routines and small wins turn the volume back down so learning can come forward.

• Repetition builds pathways.
  Tiny, repeated actions (two pages, three problems, one conversation) matter more than big “catch-up” marathons. Short + often beats long + never.

• Attachment and safety fuel curiosity.
  When kids feel seen and safe, curiosity returns. Relationship is rocket fuel for learning.

(If you like to go deeper, these ideas align with what many child development and mental health orgs teach, but today we’re keeping it practical and mom-friendly.)

Brain-Friendly How-To (Small Wins First)

1) Name the win you want (2 minutes).
Keep it tiny and specific: “Read together for 8 minutes,” “Pack backpack with checklist,” “Ask for a break before a meltdown.” Write it on a sticky. Put it eye-level.

2) Build your calm-start routine (5 minutes).
One calming thing before the task: three long exhales, sip of water, 30-second stretch, or a “two-song tidy.” Calm brains learn better.
Neurodivergent tip: use a visual timer or a “song timer” (two songs and we’re done).

3) Make the task smaller (10 minutes).
Slice it into chunks with obvious success points: one page, five problems, three lines, one paragraph. Celebrate completion out loud: “Path walked!”
ND tip: offer ≤3 choices (e.g., “recipe, comic, or sports page?”). Too many choices overwhelm; one choice feels like a trap.

4) Pair the hard thing with a warm thing (8–15 minutes).
Read while sharing a snack, math on a whiteboard outside, vocab while tossing a soft ball. Movement and connection help brains focus.
ND tip: try a body-double—a quiet partner doing their own task nearby.

5) Script the “stuck” moments (3 minutes).
Agree on words for when frustration hits: “I need a pause,” “Can you spot me one?” Post the script on the fridge.

6) End with a micro-celebration (1 minute).
A sticker in a Path Tracker, a joke read aloud, or a quick dance. Finish on a good note to make returning easier.

7) Review once a week (10 minutes).
Keep what works, ditch what doesn’t. Ask the child: “What made it easier? What should we try next?” Let them co-design. Buy-in grows effort.

Real-Life Scripts

Kid ↔ You
Kid: “I can’t. I’m bad at this.”
You: “Your brain’s a forest. This path is new. Let’s walk it for eight minutes, then hot chocolate.”
Kid: “Only eight?”
You: “Two songs. Pick them.”

Co-Parent/Caregiver ↔ You
You: “Let’s try one calm-start routine before homework. Two deep breaths, set the timer, you read the first sentence together, I read the second.”
Co-Parent: “Deal. I’ll cue the songs; you handle the timer.”

Teacher/Coach ↔ You
You: “At home we’re using small chunks and a visual timer. If we send a one-page ‘Path Tracker,’ could you initial it when they finish a page?”
Teacher: “Yes—love that language. I’ll echo ‘path walked!’ at school.”

Pitfalls → What To Do Instead

• Pitfall: “We’ll catch up this weekend with a two-hour session.”
  Instead: Ten minutes a day for a week. Brains love rhythm.

• Pitfall: “If you’d just try harder!”
  Instead: “This is hard AND you’re trying. Let’s make it smaller.”

• Pitfall: Endless nagging and no scripts.
  Instead: Post two scripts where the struggle happens (desk/fridge).

• Pitfall: One “right” way to learn.
  Instead: Try three formats: listen, read, move. Keep what works.

Five-Minute Micro-Practice (This Week)

Goal: Show your child (and your brain) that tiny practice is enough to start change.
Steps:

1. Pick one task and set a two-song timer.

2. Offer ≤3 choices for format (read jokes, write a note, do three problems on a whiteboard).

3. End with a micro-celebration (sticker, high-five, one silly meme).
   “Done” looks like: We practiced for two songs, smiled once, and would try again tomorrow.
   Callback: Remember the forest—today you walked the path. Tomorrow it’s clearer.

Want the Science in Plain English?

If you’d like a friendly walk-through of growth mindset and neuroplasticity, start with this short video:
Watch: https://youtu.be/2Grski61aHc?si=Fd77YBBStK8tZX-i 

And if you want to go deeper, you can listen to the full audiobook many people use to launch this journey:
Listen: https://youtu.be/7yCWIWX_8UQ?si=_OpabZ37cIsuwJJu 

Gentle Wrap-Up

You are not behind. Your child is not behind. You’re both in a forest, learning where the paths are—and you’re already walking them. The brain can and does change with practice, safety, and kindness. Start tiny, celebrate often, and keep it human (and funny, when you can!).

P.S. If you try the two-song strategy or the hot-chocolate reading trick, tell me how it goes. Your experiments help another family feel less alone.

Disclaimer: This article is educational and not medical advice. If you have concerns about learning or behavior, please consult a licensed professional (e.g., pediatrician, psychologist, OT, SLP, or educator).