Balance for Real Humans, Not Superheroes: Letting Go of the All-or-Nothing Life
If “work–life balance” makes you roll your eyes, you’re not alone.
Most moms I know are not choosing between “leaning in” and “leaning out.” They’re choosing between:
- Sleep or dishes
- Answering the school email or replying to their boss
- Therapy for themselves or swimming lessons for the kids
Balance can’t mean doing everything perfectly.
For real humans, balance has to mean something much kinder.
Why “All or Nothing” Is Burning Us Out
The moms in our survey talked about:
- Working full-time and coming home to a second shift
- Caring for kids with extra needs and aging parents at the same time
- Starting a business or going back to school, on top of caregiving
- Navigating immigration systems, racism, ableism, or homophobia while parenting
If we tell that group of women that balance = “having it all,” we’re lying.
Instead, let’s redefine balance as:
“Enough energy left for the things that matter most… most of the time.”
Not 100%. Not perfect.
Just enough.
The 70% Rule
Here’s a Thrive Momma idea: the 70% Rule.
If you aim to do:
- Parenting at about 70% of your ideal
- Work at about 70% of perfection
- Home care at about 70% of Instagram-ready
- Self-care at about 70% of what you wish you could do
…you may discover something wild: you’re still doing a lot.
And the extra 30%? That’s where your nervous system, sense of humour, and relationships live.
Three Gentle Levers of Balance
Instead of “fixing everything,” try adjusting three small levers:
1. Lower the bar (on purpose)
Pick one area where you officially lower the standard this month:
- Laundry can live in clean baskets, not folded drawers.
- Dinners can be “rotation meals” (3–4 easy options on repeat).
- Your house can have a “good enough” zone and a “we shove stuff in that room” zone.
Write it down:
“For November, I am allowed to do X at 70%.”
2. Raise the support
You were never meant to do this alone.
Ideas:
- Swap school pick-ups with another trusted parent once a week.
- Ask a grandparent or friend to read with your child on video call so you can shower.
- Use community resources: school counsellors, settlement workers, disability services, community health centres.
Balance is not you becoming superhuman.
Balance is you getting more hands on the rope.
3. Protect one “non-negotiable”
Choose one small thing that protects you:
- A 10-minute walk alone
- A weekly bath, uninterrupted
- One standing call with a friend, even if you’re both folding laundry
- A 15-minute planning session on Sunday to glance at the week
Research on caregiver burnout shows that consistent, small self-care rituals protect against exhaustion more than rare “big” self-care splurges.
For Different Families, Balance Looks Different
- Single parent? Your 70% may already be someone else’s 150%. You are carrying two roles; the bar must be lower somewhere.
- Co-parenting or blended family? Balance might include clear “off-duty” blocks where one adult really rests.
- Neurodivergent or disabled parent? Balance includes respecting your energy patterns and making systems that match your brain/body.
- Parents of ND or disabled kids? Balance may mean fewer activities but more regulated kids and calmer evenings. That is success, not failure.
There is no “one right way” to be a balanced family. There is only what works well enough for yours.
A Simple Reflection to Close
Ask yourself tonight:
- What am I doing surprisingly well given my reality?
- Where can I let myself be a 70% human this week?
- Who could share one piece of this load with me, even a little?
You are not meant to be a superhero.
You are a human being, deeply loved, doing your best in a noisy world.
And around here, that’s more than enough. 💛
Kajabi Info – Balance Blog
- Title: Balance for Real Humans, Not Superheroes: Letting Go of the All-or-Nothing Life
- Slug: balance-for-real-humans-not-superheroes
- Lead Category: balance
- Tags: balance, time, self-care, support and encouragement, mental load, motherhood, realistic expectations
- Brief Description (meta):
A kinder, more realistic take on work–life balance for real families. Learn about the 70% Rule, lowering the bar on purpose, raising support, and protecting one small non-negotiable so you don’t have to live like a superhero.
Canva Image Description for VA:
Illustration of a mom standing on a simple seesaw or balance scale. On one side: icons like laptop, house, bills. On the other: heart, book, cup of tea. The scale is slightly tipped but not falling over. Text overlay: “Balance for Real Humans, Not Superheroes.” Use Thrive Momma palette, friendly, readable font.
