Quick Takeaways
You will get a kinder way to understand “mom brain” as overloaded, not broken.
You will get three mindset shifts that help you see yourself as the chief executive of your life instead of the house servant of everyone else.
You will get simple tools and scripts to lead your home and your dream projects with more clarity and less panic.
You walk into a room and forget why you are there.
You remember every allergy in your child’s class but forget your own dentist appointment. You call the children by the cat’s name at least once a week.
The world calls this “mom brain” like it is a punchline. This post will show you that your brain is not silly or weak. It is simply doing a powerful job with too little support, and with a few small shifts, you can start using that same brain like a chief executive.
Picture a normal weekday.
You wake up and your brain starts talking before your feet hit the floor.
“Spirit day at school. Lunch money. The permission form. That email from your boss. Parent council tonight. The lasagna you meant to take out of the freezer.”
You have not even brushed your teeth and your brain has run through more tasks than some people see all day.
At breakfast, three people ask you three different questions at the same time.
“Where is my water bottle.”
“Can you sign this.”
“Do I have anything tonight.”
You answer like a voice-activated search engine.
You pack lunches, locate socks, send a quick work message, and mentally adjust the evening schedule to fit in a last-minute birthday party invitation.
On the way to school, one child asks a deep life question. Another asks for a snack. You give a thoughtful answer to one and silently add “buy more snacks” to your invisible list.
At work, your brain keeps spinning. You remember that you said you would bring muffins to a fundraiser. You worry about a friend who has gone quiet. You think about the fact that your car is making a new noise.
By the time you get home, do supper, navigate homework, and manage showers, your brain feels like a browser with thirty open tabs and one of them is playing music but you cannot find which one.
Later, when you stand in the kitchen looking at the calendar, your partner jokes, “Wow, your mom brain is in full force tonight,” because you can not remember which day the recycling goes out.
Something inside you winces.
You pretend to laugh, but you feel small. You start to tell yourself a story.
You think, “Maybe I really am getting less sharp.”
You think, “Maybe I should not even try to learn new things or build anything. I can barely track what we already have.”
Here is the truth that story hides.
If a company had an employee who:
- Remembered everyone’s appointments.
- Anticipated problems before they happened.
- Managed supplies, schedules, emotions, and emergencies.
- Did it all with almost no formal rest or appreciation.
They would call that person the chief executive.
At home, we often call her “mom” and then tease her about forgetting one recycling day.
One mother I will call Devon had swallowed the “scattered mom brain” story for years. She used to be proud of her academic brain. After children, she felt like her thinking had turned to cotton. She was convinced she could never handle her own small business.
During a counselling session, her therapist asked her to list everything she had mentally tracked in the past week.
She talked for fifteen minutes.
The therapist looked at her and said, “You realise you just described running a small organisation.”
Something clicked.
Devon started to experiment with talking to herself the way a chief executive might talk to a valued director. She stopped saying “I am such a mess.” She started saying, “I am doing the work of three departments with no team. No wonder I am tired.”
She began to:
- Put certain decisions on a fixed schedule instead of holding them in her head.
- Say, “That is not my department,” when someone tried to hand her tasks that were truly theirs.
- Treat her future dream work as a real project, not a hobby.
Her life did not become completely calm. There were still forms and fevers and days where everyone cried.
But the way she saw herself changed, and that changed how she led.
You can borrow that shift.
The Lesson
Your brain is not scattered. It is overworked and under-supported. The same skills you use to run a complicated household can be used to lead a project, a business, or a new career path.
When you start to see yourself as a leader instead of a walking to-do list, your choices and boundaries begin to change.
You are not just “mom brain.” You are the chief executive of a very real life.
What Is Really Going On
Truth One: The mental load is real work.
Caring for a family involves visible tasks, such as washing dishes, and invisible tasks, such as remembering appointments, planning meals, and monitoring emotions. That invisible thinking work is called the mental load. Studies show it is heavy, continuous work that drains energy and attention.
Takeaway: Feeling mentally exhausted before lunch makes sense if you have been silently running everything for hours.
Truth Two: Stress and sleep disruption affect memory and focus.
Many mothers experience broken sleep, high stress, or both. Lack of rest and elevated stress hormones make it harder to remember details and think clearly. That does not mean your brain is failing. It means it is tired and overloaded.
Takeaway: Forgetting a few small things does not erase the thousands of things you remember and do.
Truth Three: Mindset shifts change behaviour.
When people see themselves as capable leaders, they are more likely to set boundaries, delegate, and invest in learning. When they see themselves as disorganized or hopeless, they often over-function and then collapse.
Takeaway: The way you name your brain changes how you use it.
Tools You Can Use Today
Step One: Rename your role
On a sticky note or small paper, write:
“I am the chief executive of this household and my future work.”
Place it where you see it every day, such as your bathroom mirror or by the kettle.
When you catch yourself saying “I am such a mess,” try replacing it with, “I am a chief executive who needs more support.”
Step Two: Create a tiny “executive meeting” once a week
Choose one time each week, even ten minutes, when you look at your calendar and plans.
During this time:
- Look at the week ahead.
- Choose one most important task for family life.
- Choose one most important task for your future dream project.
You do not need a complex system. This is about lifting your head above daily chaos for a moment, the way a leader checks the whole map.
Step Three: Move repeating decisions out of your brain
List three decisions you make over and over.
For example:
- What is for supper.
- When to do laundry.
- When you will work on your side project.
Now give each a simple rule.
For example:
- “On Mondays, we always eat something simple, such as breakfast for supper.”
- “Laundry happens on Wednesday and Saturday.”
- “I work on my project for thirty minutes every Tuesday and Thursday after bedtime.”
Rules are not there to trap you. They are there to free your brain from constant small decisions.
Step Four: Draw your “departments”
On a piece of paper, draw four circles:
- Home care and meals.
- Children and school.
- Work income.
- Future dream project.
Now write under each circle:
- Tasks you do now.
- Tasks someone else could do with guidance.
- Tasks that could be dropped or done less often.
This is how real organisations work. They do not expect one person to do everything.
Step Five: Ask for one small shift in support
Choose one item from your “someone else could do this” list.
Ask one person to own that task for a trial period.
You can say, “I have realised I am carrying many departments. Could you fully own this one task for the next month.”
Let it be small but real, such as packing lunches, managing one child’s sports communication, or handling vehicle appointments.
Real-Life Scripts
Script with a partner
You: “I have realised I am quietly running our whole household in my head. It is too much for one person.”
Partner: “I did not realise you felt that way.”
You: “I would like us to treat this more like a team. Could you fully own this task for the next month, including the planning and reminders.”
Script with a child (age adjusted)
Child: “Mom, did you remember my library book.”
You: “I am the chief organiser for a lot of things in our family, but the library book is actually your mission. Let us make a plan so you can remember it.”
Script with yourself
Old thought: “I cannot manage a business. My brain is a mess.”
New thought: “I manage several departments already. I can learn the skills to manage a small project for myself too.”
Pitfalls and What To Do Instead
Pitfall: Believing that a chief executive never forgets anything.
Instead: Remember that even leaders make mistakes. What matters is that they have systems and teams, not a superhuman brain.
Pitfall: Thinking you must turn your home into a company.
Instead: Borrow only the parts that help, like shared tasks, clear responsibilities, and short weekly check-ins.
Pitfall: Taking back every task the minute someone does it differently than you.
Instead: Expect that others will do things in their own way, and allow “good enough” instead of perfection.
Pitfall: Waiting until your life is calm before you treat yourself as a leader.
Instead: Start now with a ten-minute executive meeting, even if it happens at the kitchen table surrounded by crumbs.
Micro-Practice (Five Minutes This Week)
Goal: Begin to see yourself as a leader, not just a worker.
Actions:
- Take three minutes and list five things you handled this week that no one else even saw.
- Take two more minutes and write one sentence: “A chief executive handled all of this. That chief executive is me.”
Done looks like this: You look at the list and feel, even for a moment, that you are more capable than the “mom brain” jokes suggest.
Talk To Your People (Advocacy)
You can adapt this message to a partner, co-parent, or other adult in the home:
“I have been carrying most of the planning and organising for our family, and it is too big a job for one person. I am trying to treat this more like a shared leadership role. I would like us to choose one task or area that you can fully own for the next month, so I am not silently running every department alone.”
Gentle Guardrails
- You do not have to become a perfect planner to call yourself a leader.
- Any system you create should make life feel lighter, not more rigid. If a tool makes you feel worse, you can change it.
- If your mood, sleep, or appetite are deeply affected, please reach out to a health professional. Leadership should support health, not replace care.
- You are allowed to rest. Leaders need sleep too.
Community Triggers
Comment question one: What is one invisible task you do every week that deserves a promotion-level thank you.
Comment question two: If you gave yourself a playful chief executive job title, what would it be.
You can also respond with a number.
Write “one” if you are ready to have a tiny weekly executive meeting with yourself.
Write “two” if your first step will be delegating just one task.
Save and share nudge:
Save this post as your reminder that your brain is powerful. Share it with a mother who runs ten departments and still calls herself “scatterbrained.”
One Call To Action
If you are ready to move from “I am drowning” to “I am leading,” you do not have to figure out the structure alone.
Download the Chief Executive Brain Starter Pack.
You will receive:
- A one-page guide to your four “departments.”
- A simple weekly executive meeting page.
- A script sheet to help you delegate tasks at home.
You can complete it in less than half an hour and use it again whenever life starts to feel chaotic.
Link: https://thrivemommacoaching.com/resources/chief-executive-brain-starter-pack
Credits and Sources
This post is informed by:
- Writing on the mental load and cognitive household labour and how they affect women’s wellbeing.
- Research on how stress and sleep loss affect memory, attention, and mood.
- Behaviour research that shows how self-belief and identity shape the actions people take.
