There is a special circle of calendar chaos where school concerts, cookie swaps, and office potlucks meet. We’re stepping out of that circle.
Promise: gentle boundaries, kinder schedules, and less people-pleasing.
What you’ll get today
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A step-by-step plan for a sane calendar
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Scripts for declining invites kindly
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Kid-friendly sensory strategies
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A printable Holiday Boundaries Worksheet
A true story
Two co-parents alternated “crowded” and “quiet” weekends. One was big extended family; the next was board games in pajamas. Meltdowns dropped. Joy increased. Nobody missed three hours in traffic.
What the research says (in plain words)
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Boundaries support mental health. CMHA suggests saying no when you need to and doing what’s best for your family. cmhasaskatoon.ca
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Kids need routine. Pediatric guidance recommends keeping sleep/mealtime routines to lower stress. HealthyChildren.org
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Plan for sensory needs. Child Mind Institute recommends quiet spaces, managing relatives’ expectations, and planning breaks. Child Mind Institute
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Help is nearby. 211 Canada connects you with local supports; 9-8-8 is available 24/7 by call or text if someone is in crisis. United Way 211 National+1
How to do it (about 30 minutes total)
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Mark the non-negotiables (5 min): sleep, faith/cultural practices, medical needs.
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Pick a social rhythm (5 min): “one big/one small” or “crowd weekend/quiet weekend.”
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Set a travel cap (3 min): maximum minutes in the car per day (kids can help decide).
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Create a quiet corner (5 min): headphones, fidgets, books, low light.
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Write two ‘no’ texts (5 min): Use the worksheet’s fill-in scripts.
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Share the plan (5 min): Tell grandparents/co-parents what helps the kids.
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Emergency plan (2 min): safe word + who to text if someone feels overwhelmed.
Real-life scripts
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With kids: “There are two parties this weekend. We’ll go to one and then do hot chocolate at home. Which party sounds more fun?”
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With co-parent/caregiver: “Let’s do one crowd event, one quiet event each week. I’ll handle the ‘no’ texts.”
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With teachers/coaches: “This week is busy for our child. If they seem off, a 2-minute break in a quiet spot really helps—thank you.”
Gentle pitfalls to avoid
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Saying yes before checking sleep/energy budgets.
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Over-scheduling kids who thrive on routine. HealthyChildren.org
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Forgetting a quiet exit plan (especially for neurodiverse kiddos). Child Mind Institute
Micro-practice (5 minutes today)
Text one kind “not this year, thank you!” message and breathe.
Downloadable one-pager
Get your Holiday Boundaries Worksheet (large-print + plain-language).
β‘οΈ Download the Holiday Boundaries Worksheet (PDF)
Inclusion & access notes
Honor how different families celebrate—language, food, music, clothing, prayer, or none of the above. Offer low-noise/low-scent times; bring cue cards for quieter kids; consider hybrid or virtual options.
Kind wrap-up
You’re allowed to protect your peace. Boundaries are love with a backbone.
CTA (one action)
Take the free Thrive Momma quiz to get your personalized boundary plan: https://www.thrivemommacoaching.com/quiz
Member chat prompt
Which word fits your December: pause, plan, or peace?
Ethical notes
Education, not medical advice. Some content is AI-assisted for clarity and accessibility.
