Quick Takeaways
You will get a simple way to think about what your work is worth, without pretending money does not matter.
You will get a gentle pricing method that considers time, costs, and real life, not just numbers on a screen.
You will get scripts to say your price out loud without shrinking, over-explaining, or offering a discount before anyone even asks.
You can talk for twenty minutes about why your work helps people.
You can list your training, your lived experience, and the hours you put in after the children go to bed.
Then someone asks, “So what do you charge,” and your brain throws itself into a laundry basket and refuses to come out.
You mumble a number that feels “nice.” You add, “But I can go lower.” You offer a discount that no one requested. Later you feel frustrated, used, and a little bit invisible.
This post is not here to turn you into a stone-faced salesperson. It is here to help you put a kind, fair number on your work so that your dream can support your family instead of quietly draining you.
Let us be honest about the first time you tried to charge for something.
Maybe you posted a small offer in a local group.
Maybe a friend asked you what they should pay.
Maybe you made a simple product and put it in an online shop.
In your head, you had a quiet list.
You thought about:
- The time you spent learning the skills.
- The money you spent on training or tools.
- The hours you stayed up late writing, planning, or creating.
- The fact that your family could really use the income.
Then a person said, “How much,” and your body went into survival mode.
You worried:
- “If I say the real number, they will think I am greedy.”
- “They will compare me to someone cheaper.”
- “Good people help for free.”
So you picked a low number that felt safe.
You said it quickly, like ripping off a bandage.
Later, when you calculated how many hours and costs went into that work, you realised you had paid yourself less than you might earn in a standard fast-food shift, without the free fries.
One mother I will call Lina went through this many times.
She left a job in education to offer small support sessions for parents of children with learning differences. She knew her material. Families loved the way she explained things. She saw real change in their homes.
Her prices, however, stayed tiny.
Whenever she raised them, even a bit, she felt a wave of shame. Her inner voice said:
“Who do you think you are.”
“Other families are struggling too.”
“You should just be grateful anyone is paying at all.”
Her turning point came during a very ordinary moment.
She had just finished an evening session. It went well. The parent thanked her, saying, “This was more helpful than months of trying to sort it out alone.”
Lina smiled, shut her laptop, and opened her online banking.
She saw the payment and did the quiet math in her head.
After taxes, platform fees, preparation time, and follow-up notes, she had earned less than she once made working an extra shift at her old job.
She felt shock, then anger, then something else: grief.
Grief that she had taught herself that her work did not count. Grief that her dream was slowly turning into unpaid overtime.
She decided that something had to change.
Not her kindness. Not her desire to help. Her pricing.
With support, she:
- Calculated how long her sessions really took, including preparation and follow-up.
- Looked at what similar support cost in her area.
- Set a new, fair number that felt slightly uncomfortable but not impossible.
- Practised saying it calmly, without apology.
The first time she named the new price, her cheeks burned. Her hands shook. She wanted to rush to fill the silence.
The other person simply said, “All right, how do I pay.”
The world did not end.
Not every person could afford her. That part hurt. But some families chose to work with her at the new price, and she reserved a very small number of lower-fee spots for those who truly needed that.
Over time, her income rose. Her resentment dropped. Her sense of worth no longer lived at the bottom of a discount bin.
You do not have to copy her exact numbers. Your life and community are your own.
You can, however, learn from her shift:
Your work is not less valuable because you care. You can be generous and still be paid.
Name the Lesson
You are not charging for your worth as a human being. You are charging for the time, skills, and care you pour into a service or product that helps other people.
When your prices are too low, everyone loses. You burn out, your family pays the hidden cost, and your work becomes harder to sustain.
Fair pricing is not greed. Fair pricing is what lets you keep helping.
What Is Really Going On
Truth One: Many mothers undercharge because of mixed messages about care and money.
Parents, especially mothers and other primary carers, are often praised for giving without limits and judged when they ask to be paid. This can make it feel wrong to charge enough to cover costs, time, and future needs.
Takeaway: If you feel guilty charging fair prices, it may say more about culture than about your character.
Truth Two: Prices need to cover more than the visible hour.
The time you spend in a live session or on a single product is only part of the picture. Preparation, learning, administration, technology, and follow-up all take time and money.
Takeaway: When you price as if the only hour that matters is the hour you are on a call, you quietly erase large parts of your work.
Truth Three: Clear pricing builds trust.
People are more likely to feel safe working with you when they understand what they will pay and what they will receive. Clear, calm prices help both you and your clients relax.
Takeaway: Naming your price clearly can feel scary at first, but in the long run it supports better relationships.
Tools You Can Use Today (Step-by-Step)
Step One: List everything that goes into your work
On a blank page, write the offer you are focusing on. For example, “One-to-one coaching session,” or “Custom plan,” or “Digital guide.”
Then list:
- Time you spend preparing.
- Time you spend in the actual session or making the product.
- Time you spend following up.
- Tools you pay for, such as internet, platforms, design tools, or booking systems.
- Training costs spread roughly over the year.
This list can be messy. You are making the invisible work visible.
Step Two: Estimate the real length of one unit of work
Add up the time that one session or product really takes.
For example:
- Thirty minutes of preparation.
- Sixty minutes in the session.
- Fifteen minutes of notes or follow-up.
That is one hundred and five minutes, which is close to two hours of your life.
Write: “One session equals about two hours of my time and energy.”
If you are unsure, track a few sessions this week.
Step Three: Decide a gentle hourly target
Ask yourself, “If I were being paid fairly for this kind of work, what would one hour be worth.”
You can look at:
- What you earned per hour at your last job.
- What similar services cost in your area.
- The qualifications and lived experience you bring.
Pick a number that feels a little brave but not wildly out of reach.
Write: “For this season, I am aiming for ______ per hour for this work.”
Remember that this is before tax. Over time, you can adjust.
Step Four: Do the simple price math
Take your true time for one unit and multiply by your hourly target.
For example, if one unit takes two hours and your gentle hourly target is forty dollars, the base price is eighty dollars.
Next, add a small amount to cover tools, administration, and future growth. This does not need to be perfect. Even ten or fifteen percent can help.
You might round your price to a simple number such as ninety dollars or one hundred dollars.
Write: “My fair price for this offer is ______.”
Sit with that number. Notice what feelings come up. Curiosity. Fear. Hope. All are welcome.
Step Five: Create a short explanation you can stand behind
People sometimes ask, “How did you arrive at that price.”
Write a two or three sentence answer:
“I base my prices on the time that each session really takes, including preparation and follow-up, as well as my training and experience. This allows me to give you focused care and to keep offering this work in a sustainable way.”
Practise saying it out loud in front of a mirror or to a trusted friend.
Step Six: Decide your generosity plan on purpose
Instead of discounting from panic, choose ahead of time how you will handle:
- Lower-fee spots, if your budget allows.
- Payment plans.
- Free resources such as blogs or guides.
For example:
- “I will reserve two reduced-fee spots each month for families who truly cannot afford the full rate and will review this every three months.”
- “I will offer payment in two or three parts for higher-priced services.”
- “I will continue to share free, helpful content that supports people who are not ready or able to pay yet.”
Generosity works better when it has a plan.
Step Seven: Practise saying your price without apology
Write a simple line:
“The price for this is ______. This includes ______.”
For example:
“The price for this session is ninety dollars. This includes a short intake form, a one-hour call, and written notes after our session.”
Practise saying it slowly.
Then practise staying silent for a few breaths after you say it, instead of rushing to offer a discount or a long explanation.
Real-Life Scripts
Script when someone asks, “What do you charge.”
Client: “This sounds helpful. What do you charge.”
You: “The price for this package is one hundred and eighty dollars. That includes two sessions, a short intake form, and written notes after each call.”
Script when someone says, “That is more than I expected.”
Client: “That is more than I thought it would be.”
You: “I understand. I base my prices on the real time each session takes, including preparation and follow-up, and on my training. For some families, I have a small number of reduced-fee spots. If that would make the difference for you, we can talk about it.”
Script for yourself when guilt appears
Old thought: “I should lower my price. They seemed stressed.”
New script: “It is kind to set prices that allow me to keep doing this work and caring for my family. It is not my job to guess or fix every person’s money story.”
Pitfalls and What To Do Instead
Pitfall: Setting prices purely based on what others charge, without checking your own costs.
Instead: Use others as a loose guide, then do your own time and cost math.
Pitfall: Constantly changing your price based on who asks.
Instead: Set a standard price, and create a separate, clear plan for any reduced-fee or scholarship spots.
Pitfall: Apologising for your price before the person even reacts.
Instead: Say your price calmly. Allow the other person to have their feelings and decisions without rushing in to rescue them.
Pitfall: Working for free out of fear, not choice.
Instead: Decide where you will be generous on purpose, such as one pro bono client per year or regular free content, and keep the rest paid.
Micro-Practice (Five Minutes This Week)
Goal: Take one tiny step toward fair pricing.
Actions:
- Choose one offer you want to keep or create.
- Write down how long it truly takes, including preparation and follow-up.
- Multiply that by a gentle hourly target and write the number in a complete sentence, such as, “My fair price for this is eighty dollars.”
Done looks like this: You have one clear number on paper, even if you are not ready to say it out loud yet.
Talk To Your People (Advocacy)
You can adapt this message for a mentor, peer, or business support group:
“I am building a small business while parenting and working. I have a history of undercharging because I feel guilty asking for fair pay. I would like help checking my pricing numbers and practising how to say my prices calmly. My goal is to set prices that respect both my clients and my family’s needs.”
Gentle Guardrails
- If you feel intense shame or panic when thinking about money, it may help to speak with a counsellor or financial educator who understands the emotional side of money, not just the numbers.
- If you live with debt, poverty, or financial trauma, please be gentle with yourself. Your story with money is not simple, and your pace with pricing changes may need to be slower.
- If you are part of a community that has faced unfair barriers to fair pay, your discomfort around charging is not a personal flaw. It is a sign that you are doing brave work in a complicated world.
- You are allowed to grow into higher prices over time. You do not need to jump from “almost nothing” to “top of the market” in one step.
Community Triggers
Comment question one: What feelings come up for you when you think about charging for your work.
Comment question two: If you could change one small thing about your pricing this year, what would it be.
You can also answer with a number.
Write “one” if your first step will be listing everything that goes into one offer.
Write “two” if your first step will be practising saying your price out loud to a friend or to your mirror.
Save and share nudge:
Save this post for the next time you feel tempted to whisper your price and offer a discount before anyone asks. Share it with a mother who needs a gentle push toward fair pay.
One Call To Action
If you want a simple guide to help you move from vague guesses to kind, clear prices, you can download the Kind Pricing Starter Pack.
Inside you will find:
- A worksheet to list all the time, tools, and training that go into one offer.
- A simple calculator page to help you set a gentle hourly target and convert it into a real price.
- A page to plan your generosity on purpose, including reduced-fee spots and free content.
- A script sheet to practise saying your prices with calm confidence.
You can complete it in less than an hour and return to it each time you create or update an offer.
Link: https://thrivemommacoaching.com/resources/kind-pricing-starter-pack
Credits and Sources
This post is informed by:
- Research and writing on the unpaid labour of caregivers and how it affects confidence about money.
- Financial education resources that explain how to calculate sustainable rates for small businesses.
- Mental health resources that explore the emotional side of money, shame, and self-worth.
